10 to 3 and clock is ticking

OK so I am supposed to have been at work by now and i haven’t gone in just over a month, and there was a three week lapse before that.  I am fully ready, makeup etc.  Tummy OK but that’s cuz I haven’t eaten since I got up at 6 PM after only 4 hours of sleep.

I am terribly afraid I’ll have a reactivation problem at work.  It would be better to get there and get on with it, but instead somehow, i got on the computer and discovered wp free blog service and so spent 5 min doing this instead.

Why am I like this?  I understand the psyche out of my illness and that should be getting better and the reality is that I really dont like my job and dont want to do it anymore but I havent gotten off my butt to launch my internet info.

Part of the challenge is I have too much to say.   And I dont know who will be listening or who wants to listen.  And then how to monetize that.

The assignment was to solve a problem.  And instead what I was attempting was writing a novel.  Just because the people who already find my life interesting would continure to find my life interesting doesn’t mean anyone else would.

Oh yeah I’m a stripper.  Is this to be my stripper blog?  And how exactly am I even a stripper anymore that i have barely been able to drag myself into work?

What if I go to work now and I lose money, or I’m late with the car to Mike or I have the chance to make more money and have to leave it there?  The car situation sucks and yet going to work will be helped by that.

I feel too far under to recover, baby steps do me no good.  I’m short 100,000 pounds and grandma is offering 500?  See Run Lola Run.  Watch it in German with the subtitles.  I neverknew they had a english dub and I saw it a few times before with the german w english subs then last time I was too exhausted to read the subs so I did the english dub thing.  And that was Ok, but theres a lot to acting in the voice and vocalization of the actors.

crappy crap crap crap  ironic or wankiness of energy?  stupid loa  in theory, communism works.  in theory.

yeah there you go the answer to everything in simpsons  oh great another unfiinshable ebook idea tat probably deserves to be a novel

it deserves? hmmm maybe i think my life would be trivialized by ebooking it and i am having a block of not wanting ti trivialize my pain and life wasting by selling it out for some cheap lousy ebook

OK either go or dont but just decide already  3:30 arrival time stay til only 7 to get car home  I cant even suck it up for less that 4 hours?  hows that for a 4 hour work week tim ferriss  youre on the way i now and it better be good and helpful im tired of wasting my time  yet i do it so very easily

hmm i also really like to type go figure  the spelling is over i am over it context oh well capi just dont care and dragon wwaits for me later too much if theres somethoing to spill publish send go done

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