happy fishpaste birthday

By far it was the worst birthday ever. Mike yelled at me, ONE person called, ONE person emailed and OK I did get a couple hilarious & sincere cards, but they arrived early.

I worked and paid to be off stage, then realized 1) it was dead and probably not worth the extra fee, 2) there would be little chance the DJ would promote me if I was offstage, 3) choosing to go on stage after paying the fee is pointless, wasteful and stupid 4) even on stage the DJ was less than enthusiastic

Then there was the guy who reluctantly mumbled to the waitress, well I guess I have to offer to buy her a drink, cuz it would be rude to not offer for her birthday. I don’t drink, the guy was retarded and not going to be spending cash on dances, so I would have rather had the $7. And I turned down the drink, even though the club “encourages” (obligates) us to accept and walked away.
I think I’ll start offering that to customers, hey I don’t drink so why not give me $5 for nothing, I’ll buy myself a gallon of distilled water for 74 cents, and you saved $2 plus tipping the waitress?

LeggyBirthday

This was my favorite card – from my friend Barry – that made my day.

At best, I’m about 1/3 done, live to be 100, I’m at 36%. Live to be 72, 50%. Of course, theres the at worst I’m at 99% and just don’t see that great white sneaking in my bedroom in time to poke him (or her) in the nose. Or eyes, which is it?

http://www.wikihow.com/Survive-a-Shark-Attack

http://www.wikihow.com/Prevent-a-Shark-Attack

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